Thursday, November 20, 2008

Where is the Party, um, At?

Boosh Clown has retired! He now writes for Hit him up!!

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

"4. Here's one example I tend to deploy on second dates, and it's rewarded with an endearing guffaw at least 90 percent of the time: I ask the woman what religion she is. Inevitably, she will say something like, 'Oh, I'm sort of Catholic, but I'm pretty lapsed in my participation,' or 'Oh, I'm kind of Jewish, but I don't really practice anymore.' Virtually everyone under the age of thirty will answer that question in this manner. I then respond by saying, 'Yeah, it seems like everybody I meet describes themselves as 'sort of Catholic' or 'sort of Jewish' or 'sort of Methodist.' Do you think all religions have this problem? I mean, do you think there are twenty-five-year-old Amish people who say, 'Well, I'm sort of Amish. I currently work as computer programmer, but I still believe pants with metal zippers are the work of Satan.' "

Wednesday, October 22, 2008


Boosh Clown is back.

Triana Backpackers

"You know that feeling, when you just wanna chug whiskey?"
Um, no. I don't know that feeling. The last time I drank whiskey I spent the night sitting on a sidewalk on 50th Avenue daring passerbyes to fight me.
"I mean, like seriously, you know that feeling when you just, like, wanna chug kerosene?"
The house in Sevilla continues to be a Real World-esque disaster. Who made out with whom? Who passed out where? Joe peed the bed?
The hostel isn't much better, albeit at the opposite end of the spectrum. There is absolutely no life here. I have had more fulfilling conversations with a wall.
"Like, ohmigod, you know that feeling, like when you just wanna chug anti-freeze?"
Yes, I absolutely know that feeling. It is a great feeling. It is called being completely out of your mind.
Yesterday my stomach was messed up so I went to the pharmacist to get a suero.
She said, "Mix it with 1 liter of water and then drink it slowly over the course of a day. Don't drink it all at once."
So I went home and mixed it and chugged it as fast as I could. And then an hour later I made another one and chugged that, too. Who is this woman to tell me what to do?
"Ok, Ok, seriously guys. I'm being serious this time. Shut up! Listen! Ok, you know that feeling..."
Oh my god.
"No, no, seriously! Just let me finish. You know that feeling, like, when you just wanna chug cottage cheese?"

I'm going to go drink another suero...


Friday, October 3, 2008

Haste Ye Back!

The Greatest Blog to ever hit the Blogging world is no more. Today, say your final farewells to Boosh Clown, and

It is truly a sad day for us all. Nevertheless, we thank you all for your constant support. It has truly been a great couple of years, filled with emotional highs and lows, drama and ecstasy.

Goodbye everyone!

(unofficial tombstone below)

"I am ready to meet my maker
whether my maker is prepared for the great ordeal
of meeting me is another matter."

Sir Thomas Boosh Clown

28 January, 2007- 3 October 2008


Thursday, September 25, 2008

I need to stop "blogging" when I've been "drinking." It's "embarrassing."

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Mein Mutter ist Mein Herz

What do you get when you combine 5 Turkish girls, 1 Turkish guy, 1 Polish girl, and 1 unshaven American boy? Why, you get the members of my Beginning German class, of course. Thats right folks, its a multicultural world, and it doesnt get any more multicultulural than the German curses at the Fachhochschule in Ludwigshafen, Germany. Weve got Poles, Turks, Bulgarians, Spaniards, Lithuanians, Dutch, Russians, and a Bulgarian kid who was raised in Turkey. Im never heard so much Turkish in my goddamn life. So far the only thing Ive learned how to say in Turkish is, "My name is Mark," and "Im freezing" (its quite cold here in Ludwigshafen). Today we went on a bus tour of the city and hopefully this Saturday well be going to Heidelburg, a University town that boasts scenic streets and a formidable castle.

German, for those of you who have never studied it, is one difficult language. I mean, people say "Oh its a lot like English" but thats kind of like saying that Spanish is a lot like Latin. Which, if youve studied both Spanish and Latin (which I havent) you know is a ridiculous statement. German is fucking hard. In German instead of saying "I want to speak English" you say "I want in English to speak." But thats just the tip of the iceberg. Then youve got cases, which are something I cant even attempt to explain as I have no idea what in hell they are. The moral of the story is this: English is rad, and, We should all move to Texas. Ignorance is bliss....

So anyway, thats a little update on the goings on here in the hinterlands. Once again if you are in these parts and want to meet up just send me a little message. We can go to France and eat hella cheap brie, or something. (Actually, the brie in Germany is hella cheap as well. A euro 15 for a huge wedge. Damn, doo!)

-Boosh Clown