"The 5 most painful words that I can hear from a friend, "What's up with the blog?" Get off my fucking back alright. Just because you have taken to writing a post a day doesn't give you the right to judge me. I have a lot of shit going on okay. Between Barry condescendingly scoffing at me every day I don't write something, and you "playfully" adding a PS to your wall post, I am about ready to crack. Sike. Three posts tomorrow. Suck it."
- Bunktown
Hella new photo album uploaded on Facebook. Time to get rad.
Like of the Day: Grilled Cheese with Ham
Dislike of the Day: Ghosts
Song of the Day: "I Don't Really Love You Anymore" by The Magnetic Fields
Monday, March 31, 2008
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Per Se
"Uhhh, Mark, there's 31 days in March and you've only done 26 posts so far. You said you were gonna do daily updates..."
Assholes.
Assholes.
Back for the First Time
Like of the Day: "Groundhog Day" starring Bill Murray and Andie McDowell
Dislike of the Day: Quebec
Quote of the Day:
"AHHHH!!!!"
"What is it, Connor?"
"Ah, it was in my pocket. I thought I forgot where I put my pot."
-Conversation between me and one of my co-workers at the deli
"Would You Rather" of the Day:
Would you rather, every time you farted have to exclaim loudly (and I mean loudly), "Oh, that's precious!" or have to keep a pet muskrat on a leash and bring it everywhere you went?
Picture of the Day:
This is Bardi Johannsson, lead singer of the Icelandic band, "Bang Gang." His website's biography, in a so-cute-you-could-just-throw-up-in-your-mouth contrived sort of way describes him as "obsessive, narcissistic, hung-over, and romantic." The lesson? Europeans are lame, but people from Iceland are even lamer.
(Watch Bang Gang's hit single, "Find What You Get.")
Dislike of the Day: Quebec
Quote of the Day:
"AHHHH!!!!"
"What is it, Connor?"
"Ah, it was in my pocket. I thought I forgot where I put my pot."
-Conversation between me and one of my co-workers at the deli
"Would You Rather" of the Day:
Would you rather, every time you farted have to exclaim loudly (and I mean loudly), "Oh, that's precious!" or have to keep a pet muskrat on a leash and bring it everywhere you went?
Picture of the Day:
This is Bardi Johannsson, lead singer of the Icelandic band, "Bang Gang." His website's biography, in a so-cute-you-could-just-throw-up-in-your-mouth contrived sort of way describes him as "obsessive, narcissistic, hung-over, and romantic." The lesson? Europeans are lame, but people from Iceland are even lamer.
(Watch Bang Gang's hit single, "Find What You Get.")
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Would You Rather...
"Would you rather?" has always been one of my favorite games. I remember giggling to myself uncontrollably for 2-3 days straight while my friend Jenny and I played it in Cuba. Most of my "Would you rathers" in this case involved her doing something embarrassing, like peeing on the floor of a lecture hall during class or getting farted on by our German hippie "friend" Janosch (I think all of them involved this, actually. That or tongue kissing him for prolonged periods of time). Needless to say, Jenny wasn't quite as excited about the game as I was.
One of the very first entries here at Boosh Clown involved a "Would you rather," so today I thought I'd bring them back; a throw back to Boosh Clown's infancy, if you will. "Would you rathers" have always been for those people who have a taste for the absurd; people with a penchant for disgusting; and people that enjoy envisioning their friend getting farted on by Germans.
Please enjoy today's installment (mixed in with the daily nonsense below) and feel free to comment with your own.
It snowed today in Victoria!
-Boosh Clown
Song of the Day: Off the Hook by CSS
Like of the Day: Precipitation
Dislike of the Day: Celsius
Would you Rather? of the Day: Would you rather have to ride horseback everywhere you went: to school, to work, to the corner store--everywhere, or, every time you met someone new have to slap his/her butt and scream, "Owwwww! Dis hawt (this hot)!"
One of the very first entries here at Boosh Clown involved a "Would you rather," so today I thought I'd bring them back; a throw back to Boosh Clown's infancy, if you will. "Would you rathers" have always been for those people who have a taste for the absurd; people with a penchant for disgusting; and people that enjoy envisioning their friend getting farted on by Germans.
Please enjoy today's installment (mixed in with the daily nonsense below) and feel free to comment with your own.
It snowed today in Victoria!
-Boosh Clown
Song of the Day: Off the Hook by CSS
Like of the Day: Precipitation
Dislike of the Day: Celsius
Would you Rather? of the Day: Would you rather have to ride horseback everywhere you went: to school, to work, to the corner store--everywhere, or, every time you met someone new have to slap his/her butt and scream, "Owwwww! Dis hawt (this hot)!"
A Golden Age
The wait is over.
If you haven't seen the movie "Shoes," by Kelly, you may have noticed an empty feeling in your stomach as of late. That feeling isn't hunger; it's your bodies subtle yet nagging way of letting you know that you have been missing out on one of the funniest YouTube videos ever made.
When "Shoes" came out, Kelly also had another song out called, "Let Me Borrow That Top," but for the longest time it had no accompanying video.
Until now.
Today I bring you the long-awaited sequel to "Shoes," certainly one of Kelly's finest works yet. Pay special attention to Scott's googly eyes at 0:52, the "Vegan Girl-on-Girl Sandwich Tour" at 1:02, the rocker girls at 4:47, and probably one of the hottest girls to ever walk the face of the Earth at 4:56.
Also, see more of Kelly's Aunt's semi-attractive/semi-repulsive Hispanic partner in the fairly hilarious video, "Spanish for Nannies."
Now enjoy, "Let Me Borrow That Top."
If you haven't seen the movie "Shoes," by Kelly, you may have noticed an empty feeling in your stomach as of late. That feeling isn't hunger; it's your bodies subtle yet nagging way of letting you know that you have been missing out on one of the funniest YouTube videos ever made.
When "Shoes" came out, Kelly also had another song out called, "Let Me Borrow That Top," but for the longest time it had no accompanying video.
Until now.
Today I bring you the long-awaited sequel to "Shoes," certainly one of Kelly's finest works yet. Pay special attention to Scott's googly eyes at 0:52, the "Vegan Girl-on-Girl Sandwich Tour" at 1:02, the rocker girls at 4:47, and probably one of the hottest girls to ever walk the face of the Earth at 4:56.
Also, see more of Kelly's Aunt's semi-attractive/semi-repulsive Hispanic partner in the fairly hilarious video, "Spanish for Nannies."
Now enjoy, "Let Me Borrow That Top."
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
The Resolutions
Here they are: Boosh Clown's 2008 New Year's Resolutions
1) Upon meeting anyone for the first time, no matter the circumstance or age of the person involved, lean in to them and with a wink say, "Yeah, I think we met at a party last year."
2) Every time I get a 2 dollar Canadian coin or "Twoonie" as change, pump my fist and enthusiastically say to myself, "Yeah, baby. Free money!"
3) Get the Achilles healthy once and for all (the capitalization is no mistake. My tendon has achieved "deity" status).
4) Any time a kid is screaming in public or making a fuss, grab him by the shoulder and with a stern look say, "The devil will find work for idle hands, boy."
5) Learn German.
6) Find a semi-steady job that doesn't involve driving people to or from a car dealership.
7) Go to Starbucks, deliberately order a drink with soy milk, and then when the drink comes take a sip and (curling my nose) say, "Soy milk?! Ewwwwww...."
8) Streak through Cook St. Village, Victoria, with an American flag painted on my butt.
9) While at a dinner with people I don't know--and regardless of what the prepared dish is and the name of the person that cooked it--loudly exclaim with my forked cocked in front of my eye in wonder, "Martha, these potstickers are delicious!"
10) Ask Andy Bunker for his hand in marriage.
That's all, folks!
-Boosh Clown
1) Upon meeting anyone for the first time, no matter the circumstance or age of the person involved, lean in to them and with a wink say, "Yeah, I think we met at a party last year."
2) Every time I get a 2 dollar Canadian coin or "Twoonie" as change, pump my fist and enthusiastically say to myself, "Yeah, baby. Free money!"
3) Get the Achilles healthy once and for all (the capitalization is no mistake. My tendon has achieved "deity" status).
4) Any time a kid is screaming in public or making a fuss, grab him by the shoulder and with a stern look say, "The devil will find work for idle hands, boy."
5) Learn German.
6) Find a semi-steady job that doesn't involve driving people to or from a car dealership.
7) Go to Starbucks, deliberately order a drink with soy milk, and then when the drink comes take a sip and (curling my nose) say, "Soy milk?! Ewwwwww...."
8) Streak through Cook St. Village, Victoria, with an American flag painted on my butt.
9) While at a dinner with people I don't know--and regardless of what the prepared dish is and the name of the person that cooked it--loudly exclaim with my forked cocked in front of my eye in wonder, "Martha, these potstickers are delicious!"
10) Ask Andy Bunker for his hand in marriage.
That's all, folks!
-Boosh Clown
Sunday, March 23, 2008
Hark! The Herald Angels Sing
I don't know why we do resolutions for New Years. Well, I do know; it is, after all, a new year, so in that regard it is certainly fitting. I just don't think January is any time of year to be enacting life-changing decisions supposed to improve one's quality of life, physical appearance, career, etc. If you are like me and most people I know, during the dire winter months of Northwest winters you live in a kind of waking sleep--a species of coma that just says, "Hang in there, buddy. I know this weather sucks and that it has rained for the past 47 days, but spring will be awesome. I promise."
In this state you are in no condition to pursue new-and-improved workout regiments and diets that eliminate all things but foods like "almond milk" and "fortified wheat barley." In fact, you need all the fat you can get if you are to make it through the harsh winter; there's a reason your body is telling you to nab a scone off the counter and curl up in a cave of pillows and blankets next to the hearth until the green-blossomed tips of the cherry trees awake from their slumber to bless the Earth with their glorious frangranced flowers and signal the beginning of a warmer climate to come.
This is what spring is all about: new beginnnings. So wouldn't it be more fitting, I ask, that we did our New Year's resolutions in spring, as opposed to the dreary depths of winter's frosty embrace? Why don't we make resolutions to begin anew when nature also is beginning anew; when the robins have returned and the bees are unfurling their tiny antennae and the caterpillar will is ridding itself of its frigid cocoon?
It is because we are a foolish people; we would have to be to make our most important decisions and resolutions on a night we have carefully reserved for the consumption of gross quantities of liquor. How many people do you know who wake up wearing an '08 party hat and sitting in an armchair with a half-empty bottle of Cook's on their lap that get up, dust off the sin, and head to the gym? And how many people in that same situation decide they are going to battle a hangover--a medieval, rogue-like hangover--by eating a balanced meal of tofu steak and freshly cut leeks? The answer is: no one. People generally spend the morning of New Year's day washing a penis off of their forehead and trying to figure out why they woke up in the laundry room with their pants around their ankles and a dog collar around their neck. A "New Year's resolution" is about the last thing on their minds.
Therefore, to honor the first day of spring--a glorious day heralded in by gleaming rays of sunlight that shone through the strait of Juan de Fuca as I made my way home from Haggar's foreboding land of the North to the glory that is our United States of 'Merica, I decided to make a new set of New Year's resolutions; a set that I will actually enforce; a set that was not conceived in direct relation to the consumption alcohol; and a set that will make Mother Nature proud to open the gate to her benevolent bosom and set forth the flora and the fauana that make spring in the Northwest a joyous time to be alive.
And I urge you all to do the same. Sinners repent!
-Boosh Clown
p.s. I'll post the resolutions tomorrow. I have to think of them first.
In this state you are in no condition to pursue new-and-improved workout regiments and diets that eliminate all things but foods like "almond milk" and "fortified wheat barley." In fact, you need all the fat you can get if you are to make it through the harsh winter; there's a reason your body is telling you to nab a scone off the counter and curl up in a cave of pillows and blankets next to the hearth until the green-blossomed tips of the cherry trees awake from their slumber to bless the Earth with their glorious frangranced flowers and signal the beginning of a warmer climate to come.
This is what spring is all about: new beginnnings. So wouldn't it be more fitting, I ask, that we did our New Year's resolutions in spring, as opposed to the dreary depths of winter's frosty embrace? Why don't we make resolutions to begin anew when nature also is beginning anew; when the robins have returned and the bees are unfurling their tiny antennae and the caterpillar will is ridding itself of its frigid cocoon?
It is because we are a foolish people; we would have to be to make our most important decisions and resolutions on a night we have carefully reserved for the consumption of gross quantities of liquor. How many people do you know who wake up wearing an '08 party hat and sitting in an armchair with a half-empty bottle of Cook's on their lap that get up, dust off the sin, and head to the gym? And how many people in that same situation decide they are going to battle a hangover--a medieval, rogue-like hangover--by eating a balanced meal of tofu steak and freshly cut leeks? The answer is: no one. People generally spend the morning of New Year's day washing a penis off of their forehead and trying to figure out why they woke up in the laundry room with their pants around their ankles and a dog collar around their neck. A "New Year's resolution" is about the last thing on their minds.
Therefore, to honor the first day of spring--a glorious day heralded in by gleaming rays of sunlight that shone through the strait of Juan de Fuca as I made my way home from Haggar's foreboding land of the North to the glory that is our United States of 'Merica, I decided to make a new set of New Year's resolutions; a set that I will actually enforce; a set that was not conceived in direct relation to the consumption alcohol; and a set that will make Mother Nature proud to open the gate to her benevolent bosom and set forth the flora and the fauana that make spring in the Northwest a joyous time to be alive.
And I urge you all to do the same. Sinners repent!
-Boosh Clown
p.s. I'll post the resolutions tomorrow. I have to think of them first.
Friday, March 21, 2008
Whoomph! There it is
I know I'm kind of a huge liar for saying I was going to update the blog daily and then not actually doing it, but the blog world is stressful. Long hours, editors constantly peering over my shoulder, and faulty computer equipment have at times contributed to an altogether sub-par work environment. I would entertain notions of throwing in the towel for early retirement were it not for your kind, unconditional support, faithful reader. You are the wind beneath my wings.
-Boosh Clown
Like of the Day: Safeway 3 for-a-dollar candybars
Dislike of the Day: Having to go through mo'fuckin' customs just to come home for Easter to Seattle
Song of the Day: "I'll be Surprised" by Skinnyman
-Boosh Clown
Like of the Day: Safeway 3 for-a-dollar candybars
Dislike of the Day: Having to go through mo'fuckin' customs just to come home for Easter to Seattle
Song of the Day: "I'll be Surprised" by Skinnyman
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Party
As part of my 2008, "Stop Having Achilles Tendonitis" plan, I biked the 25 minute ride from where I live in Cook St. village to the campus of the University of Victoria today.
And now I feel like I am about to cough up blood.
To add insult to injury, I started getting passed by other people on the road: cars, other bikers--a woman pushing a stroller, while my spindly legs seared with fatigue.
Then I finally get to UVIC, hippie capitol of the world (as declared by me), only to find a kid with a bucket of chalk out in front of the library writing the words, "Hug a tree."
I minorly hate my life.
Happy Easter,
Boosh Clown
And now I feel like I am about to cough up blood.
To add insult to injury, I started getting passed by other people on the road: cars, other bikers--a woman pushing a stroller, while my spindly legs seared with fatigue.
Then I finally get to UVIC, hippie capitol of the world (as declared by me), only to find a kid with a bucket of chalk out in front of the library writing the words, "Hug a tree."
I minorly hate my life.
Happy Easter,
Boosh Clown
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Confessions of a DUH-uh
Where have all the cowboys gone? Paula Cole is not the only one wondering this. I would love to know where all the cowboys have gone. I suspect somewhere remote, somewhere with a lot of horses, and somewhere with relatively lax gun laws. Montana springs to mind. Wyoming would also probably be a pretty safe bet. Did Paula Cole go to these places before writing her song? Did she do any research at all? The whole thing stinks like tanned leather.
I would like to pose a question: Why on earth was everyone so obsessed with that one "Soulja Boy" song? That song is fucking terrible. It sounds like it was recorded in my bathroom. Rap music today is essentially dead and hip-hop has degenerated into an Akon solo. Akon is one of the worst singers alive. He sounds like a dying loony tunes character, and yet he is featured in every song, and everyone under the age of 25 seems to love him. AKA every girl under the age of 25 seems to love him.
It is official. I have decided that there is no cure for the common hangover. I have tried just about everything, including getting vitamin B injected into my buttox in Costa Rica. This is no lie. My friend Neil and I did it. It cost about 2 dollars each and the cute older woman at the pharmacy led us into the back room where she made us lie face down on a padded table while sticking a syringe full of vitamin B into our butts. This made us feel awesome for awhile, but mostly made our butts hurt and made it hard to walk. Plus, right before she gave us the shots she explained the possible side effects: "Your urine might be red and you will have a slight metallic taste in your mouth." That is when my friend Scott backed out, turned off by the prospect of brightly colored pee. Then Neil and I stepped behind the curtain one by one to get liquid vitamin B injected into our buttox.
Like I said, it worked, but only for a few hours. Still, that is the closest I have ever come to ridding myself of a hangover you could sell to science (Bryson) through any method other than sleep and lots of water.
The problem for me is that I can't nap when I'm hungover, so I basically just spend the whole day wishing it was the next day, because sometimes when I'm hungover it is a chore for me to exist. Isn't that sad? It's tragic. My life is in shambles.
Have a great day!
- Boosh Clown
I would like to pose a question: Why on earth was everyone so obsessed with that one "Soulja Boy" song? That song is fucking terrible. It sounds like it was recorded in my bathroom. Rap music today is essentially dead and hip-hop has degenerated into an Akon solo. Akon is one of the worst singers alive. He sounds like a dying loony tunes character, and yet he is featured in every song, and everyone under the age of 25 seems to love him. AKA every girl under the age of 25 seems to love him.
It is official. I have decided that there is no cure for the common hangover. I have tried just about everything, including getting vitamin B injected into my buttox in Costa Rica. This is no lie. My friend Neil and I did it. It cost about 2 dollars each and the cute older woman at the pharmacy led us into the back room where she made us lie face down on a padded table while sticking a syringe full of vitamin B into our butts. This made us feel awesome for awhile, but mostly made our butts hurt and made it hard to walk. Plus, right before she gave us the shots she explained the possible side effects: "Your urine might be red and you will have a slight metallic taste in your mouth." That is when my friend Scott backed out, turned off by the prospect of brightly colored pee. Then Neil and I stepped behind the curtain one by one to get liquid vitamin B injected into our buttox.
Like I said, it worked, but only for a few hours. Still, that is the closest I have ever come to ridding myself of a hangover you could sell to science (Bryson) through any method other than sleep and lots of water.
The problem for me is that I can't nap when I'm hungover, so I basically just spend the whole day wishing it was the next day, because sometimes when I'm hungover it is a chore for me to exist. Isn't that sad? It's tragic. My life is in shambles.
Have a great day!
- Boosh Clown
Monday, March 17, 2008
Oh My God, Becky...
I think we can all pretty much come to a consensus when saying that the song "Tarzan Boy" by Baltimora is one of the best songs ever made. Have you, however, see the video? Move over, Coen brothers...
Saturday, March 15, 2008
Stay - Shakespeare's Sister
I have seen this video about 7 or 8 times now, and apart from being completely insane, it always has me begging the following question: "What on earth does 'When the hurly burly's done' mean?" So awesome...
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Señor Sevig, You Better Get Your Ass in Gear
Well, ladies and gentleman, it now makes 2 weeks that the physical manifestation of Boosh Clown has been unemployed. In order to not become despondent, sorrowful, woeful--what have you--I have decided I'm going to do what I do best--take a vacation.
"Mark, your life is a vacation," you might be saying, cynical reader. To which I respond--but not after a hearty, patient chuckle, "You are a jerk."
Anyway, today I will head out to Vancouver, British Columbia to visit my friend Jenny and our friend Neil, who I recently traveled with for 2 months through Central and South America. Neil was essentially doing the same trip as me but we were forced to part when he met his parents in Quito, Ecuador, for a brief hiatus to the rainforest and the Galapagos Islands while I was left to cry myself to sleep on an overnight string of buses to the Peruvian border where I was given $33 in fake currency by a bogus money changer. Neil is blond, Scottish, and enjoys White Russians; I am unshaven, American, and enjoy peer pressure. This makes for an interesting combo.
-Boosh Clown
Like of the Day: Seconds 1:09 to 1:12 in "Kids" by MGMT.
Dislike of the Day: "Complications"
Quote of the Day: "Do they get '.coms' in Canada?" - B. Sev
Song of the Day: "Let's Get it On (Dirty Harry Blend)" by The Notorious B.I.G.
Video of the Day: Neil and I get "enthusiastic" in Medellin, Colombia
"Mark, your life is a vacation," you might be saying, cynical reader. To which I respond--but not after a hearty, patient chuckle, "You are a jerk."
Anyway, today I will head out to Vancouver, British Columbia to visit my friend Jenny and our friend Neil, who I recently traveled with for 2 months through Central and South America. Neil was essentially doing the same trip as me but we were forced to part when he met his parents in Quito, Ecuador, for a brief hiatus to the rainforest and the Galapagos Islands while I was left to cry myself to sleep on an overnight string of buses to the Peruvian border where I was given $33 in fake currency by a bogus money changer. Neil is blond, Scottish, and enjoys White Russians; I am unshaven, American, and enjoy peer pressure. This makes for an interesting combo.
-Boosh Clown
Like of the Day: Seconds 1:09 to 1:12 in "Kids" by MGMT.
Dislike of the Day: "Complications"
Quote of the Day: "Do they get '.coms' in Canada?" - B. Sev
Song of the Day: "Let's Get it On (Dirty Harry Blend)" by The Notorious B.I.G.
Video of the Day: Neil and I get "enthusiastic" in Medellin, Colombia
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Oh My Gosh
Like of the Day: Falafel
Dislike of the Day: Linkin Park
Song of the Day: "Velha Infancia" by Os Tribalistas
Dislike of the Day: Linkin Park
Song of the Day: "Velha Infancia" by Os Tribalistas
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Are You of Legal Drinking Age?
Like of the Day: Jane Eyre
Dislike of the Day: Mark Ames
Song of the Day: A couple days ago I randomly picked a song off KEXP's Song of the Day podcast because I wanted to see if deciding I liked it beforehand would translate into me actually liking it. And I think I do. Today's song is "Waving Flags," by British Sea Power
Picture of the Day: Yesterday's entry got me thinking about chinchillas, and how their owners are some of the creepiest people in the world. I don't know who this guy is, but I'm sure he should be in jail:
Dislike of the Day: Mark Ames
Song of the Day: A couple days ago I randomly picked a song off KEXP's Song of the Day podcast because I wanted to see if deciding I liked it beforehand would translate into me actually liking it. And I think I do. Today's song is "Waving Flags," by British Sea Power
Picture of the Day: Yesterday's entry got me thinking about chinchillas, and how their owners are some of the creepiest people in the world. I don't know who this guy is, but I'm sure he should be in jail:
Monday, March 10, 2008
Day of the Day
Like of the Day: Black Forest Ham
Dislike of the Day: Sal Masekela
Song of the Day: "KIDS" BY MGMT. I had to put it up here one more time. I am obsessed with this song.
Picture of the Day: Most of you, if you have heard her, probably remember Monica Seles for the time in 1993 when she was attacked by a deranged German man named Guther Parche who rushed down from the stands during a changeover and stabbed the young tennis star in the back with a boning knife. When I think of Monica, though, I think of how I used to be obsessed with all sports, how I used to be young and wholesome, and how every year, come summertime, I used to get so excited to watch Wimbledon and see Pete Sampras beat the pants off foreign guys with funny-sounding names like "Goran." I also remember Monica for her deep ground strokes and wild grunts that vaguely resembled those of a silver-back gorilla.
So here you have her, in all of her intently focused glory. Monica Seles: Childhood icon.
p.s. She also kind of looks like a chinchilla here, doesn't she?
Dislike of the Day: Sal Masekela
Song of the Day: "KIDS" BY MGMT. I had to put it up here one more time. I am obsessed with this song.
Picture of the Day: Most of you, if you have heard her, probably remember Monica Seles for the time in 1993 when she was attacked by a deranged German man named Guther Parche who rushed down from the stands during a changeover and stabbed the young tennis star in the back with a boning knife. When I think of Monica, though, I think of how I used to be obsessed with all sports, how I used to be young and wholesome, and how every year, come summertime, I used to get so excited to watch Wimbledon and see Pete Sampras beat the pants off foreign guys with funny-sounding names like "Goran." I also remember Monica for her deep ground strokes and wild grunts that vaguely resembled those of a silver-back gorilla.
So here you have her, in all of her intently focused glory. Monica Seles: Childhood icon.
p.s. She also kind of looks like a chinchilla here, doesn't she?
Sunday, March 9, 2008
If What You Say is True
I completely forgot to do a blog yesterday. I was too busy watching "He Was a Quiet Man," a disturbing thriller that features Christian Slater as a middle aged, unattractive businessman who fantasizes about committing a rage murder in his office but instead ends up having semi-sexual relations with a quadriplegic Elisha Cuthbert. We had to watch a few episodes of the Wonder Years directly afterwards due to the fact that we had just spent the last 96 minutes of our lives watching a man get verbally abused by his goldfish.
Like of the Day: Grapefruit flavored Grower's Hard Cider
Dislike of the Day: Dandruff
Song of the Day: "Insistor" by Tapes 'n Tapes
Like of the Day: Grapefruit flavored Grower's Hard Cider
Dislike of the Day: Dandruff
Song of the Day: "Insistor" by Tapes 'n Tapes
Poetry Sundays
It would appear that I have some unresolved issues...
Ode to Fahmin
A child soldier
Born in Bosnia
Come to America.
"Whose car this is?"
This is Fahmin.
Champion of democracy
Steady-handed dictator
Clever bookie.
I will drive your shuttle no more
I will not wait at 7th and Pike
I will not pick you up on Capitol Hill
I will not come to Zymogenetics.
But I will always be fond.
Ode to Fahmin
A child soldier
Born in Bosnia
Come to America.
"Whose car this is?"
This is Fahmin.
Champion of democracy
Steady-handed dictator
Clever bookie.
I will drive your shuttle no more
I will not wait at 7th and Pike
I will not pick you up on Capitol Hill
I will not come to Zymogenetics.
But I will always be fond.
Friday, March 7, 2008
Poo
I bought a new hoodie today. I hate shopping. I am always so reticent to buy things, and usually experience harsh bouts of buyer's remorse after all purchases. That said, I really wasn't in the mood to wear a gray Fila sweatshirt for the rest of my life.
Like of the Day: Eelskin handbags
Dislike of the Day: Getting an ice cream cone and having to push the ice cream down into the cone lest you be left eating a hollow, waffle-like cracker.
Song of the Day: "See These Bones" by Nada Surf
Color of the Day:
Green. Green is a nice color. It is the color of broccoli, zucchini, sewage, cars that are green, and (apparently) the color of your bowel movements the day after drinking Pepto Bismol.
Like of the Day: Eelskin handbags
Dislike of the Day: Getting an ice cream cone and having to push the ice cream down into the cone lest you be left eating a hollow, waffle-like cracker.
Song of the Day: "See These Bones" by Nada Surf
Color of the Day:
Green. Green is a nice color. It is the color of broccoli, zucchini, sewage, cars that are green, and (apparently) the color of your bowel movements the day after drinking Pepto Bismol.
Thursday, March 6, 2008
Interview With the Vampire
I have been wanting to do an interview here on BLOG IS THE NEW BLOG for a long time, and from the moment this desire took root in my brain I knew who would be the man for the job. Unfortunately, between snowboarding, beer drinking, employment obligations, and what he referred to in a recent email as "sex," he has had no time for his old pal here at Boosh Clown.
Until today.
Ladies and gentleman, I bring you BLOG IS THE NEW BLOG's first ever interview. At just 23 tender years of age, this lanky lover first graced the pages of Boosh Clown a few months ago when we did our "Species Profile" section. His first name is Barry, and though for anonymity reasons he doesn't want me to disclose his last, let's just say that it rhymes with "Trevig." He is a man among boys. A legend among heroes. Monsieurs et mesdames, without further adieu, I bring you the "Skittle King" himself...
Damn, doug! What do you think of Boosh Clown's first ever "Interview Blog"? You pretty stoked?
(Barry is Silent)
I heard you were recently doing a 14-city US road trip to help put on snowboarding rail jam contests? How was that? Hotties?
Things were good and crazy. Met a lot of cool people and... hotties?? Those stories aren't for children.
What is your favorite place in the world?
I would say the best place in the world is to be snowboarding with friends or drinking a few beers with family and friends. No better times than the party train that is Mark Wetzler. ps. I heard you're coming home now, yeah?? Does this mean I should start looking for bunk beds?
Beach bum or mountain bum for the rest of your life?
Beach bum or mountain bum for the rest of your life?
Couch surfing fatty. Mountain bum!
What kind of character quality in a girl will make you say, "wow, this chick is completely unappealing," when you first meet her?
If she thinks the grape flavored Skittle leaves a bad aftertaste, I would consider her very ignorant and not qualified to be my friend.
On a serious note: A girl that lacks brain cells. I found a perfect example of this last night, by the way. She had a total of 3 brain cells: One to pee, one to poop, and one to control eye movement. B. Sev likes a girl that's witty, unique and has eyes to kill. I would say I found this chick extremely unappealing after joking around with her and getting no response: not even a wink or a smile, after telling what I thought was one of the best punch lines for the scenario.
And what will make you say, "holy shit this girl is bomb"?
On a serious note: A girl that lacks brain cells. I found a perfect example of this last night, by the way. She had a total of 3 brain cells: One to pee, one to poop, and one to control eye movement. B. Sev likes a girl that's witty, unique and has eyes to kill. I would say I found this chick extremely unappealing after joking around with her and getting no response: not even a wink or a smile, after telling what I thought was one of the best punch lines for the scenario.
And what will make you say, "holy shit this girl is bomb"?
See above? A girl that has the first words, flourishes with a unique personality and eyes to kill.
After the aforementioned road trip, what's the next step for Barry?
After the aforementioned road trip, what's the next step for Barry?
Possibly work. Possibly South America. That is my dilemma. I can't have a career and take 3 months off to travel South. But to travel South it's a little hard to take 3 months off and have a salaried job. What's your vote?
If you could still be at UW right now, would you? Why or why not?
If you could still be at UW right now, would you? Why or why not?
No. Four glory years is the perfect amount of time. You don't want to over do it.
I rarely see you get angry. What makes B. Sev rage?
People stealing my Skittles. Smooshing my Starburst.... just kidding. Things that get me ticking. I would say when heads start talkin' mess about myself or my posse. Nothing beats disrespect.
OK, final question: I noticed that in the last month or two your Facebook status changed from being "Engaged" with one person to being in a relationship with someone entirely different. What happened with that?"
My life partner moved to Canada. Another country far far away from me.... I had to do it.
OK I lied, there's one more question. When are you coming to visit me in Victoria?
OK, final question: I noticed that in the last month or two your Facebook status changed from being "Engaged" with one person to being in a relationship with someone entirely different. What happened with that?"
My life partner moved to Canada. Another country far far away from me.... I had to do it.
OK I lied, there's one more question. When are you coming to visit me in Victoria?
Right now I am in no financial state to come to Victoria. Well, maybe. I'll think about it, bra. The snow is going to be good this weekend so no chance. But maybe next week. I fly by the seat of my pants!
-Boosh Clown
Unrequited Love
Like of the Day: Kraft Macaroni and Cheese
Dislike of the Day: Florida
Song of the Day: Anything off the "Putumayo Presents" album "Brasileiro." Just type "Brasileiro" into your preferred music downloading engine and download whatever comes up. If you don't download music, you are a fool.
Picture of the Day: When Neil and I were walking the Carrera 7 from the northern part of Bogotá, Colombia, to the southern part, we came across an extremely tall German guy and his black Canadian friend from (I think) Ottawa. They wanted us to check out a hostel they were building, but first suggested we dine at a near by soup eatery hailed as a provider of home made, economical delights.. While we ate, the two kids pictured below sat at an adjoining table, looking at us and laughing hysterically. In addition, I found out midway through my meal that what I thought to be exotic vegetable in my soup was actually the stomach lining of a cow.
Dislike of the Day: Florida
Song of the Day: Anything off the "Putumayo Presents" album "Brasileiro." Just type "Brasileiro" into your preferred music downloading engine and download whatever comes up. If you don't download music, you are a fool.
Picture of the Day: When Neil and I were walking the Carrera 7 from the northern part of Bogotá, Colombia, to the southern part, we came across an extremely tall German guy and his black Canadian friend from (I think) Ottawa. They wanted us to check out a hostel they were building, but first suggested we dine at a near by soup eatery hailed as a provider of home made, economical delights.. While we ate, the two kids pictured below sat at an adjoining table, looking at us and laughing hysterically. In addition, I found out midway through my meal that what I thought to be exotic vegetable in my soup was actually the stomach lining of a cow.
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
Tea Party
Some dissent has been expressed with respect to the new format and color scheme of BLOG IS THE NEW BLOG. Apparently the white on black causes "headaches." Ladies and boyz: I am not an artist. My father, Harry Wetzler, cannot see distinguish between "green," and "blue." He is effectively color blind, and it is altogether possible that some of this has rubbed off on me.
I am sorry if the new color scheme and format has caused you distress. I intend to remedy this situation as soon as possible, and would urge you, faithful reader, to aid me in settling on a color scheme that will be both dynamic and "jazzy," as well as easy to read and one that will not inflict ocular discomfort.
I like pink, but I'm not the kind of guy that wears pink polo shirts to show that he is "comfortable" with his sexuality. I am not sure that I am comfortable with my sexuality. I am often wont to hold hands with Andy Bunker, and sometimes find myself coveting Barry Sevig's smooth, baby-like skin.
I also like black and white for their contrast. I want my blog to be simple and easy to read, and feel that a black and white-based color scheme promotes this.
I also like red. At least I think I like red. When I was six I emphatically proclaimed that red was my favorite color. There is a chance that this still holds true. I am a Leo, and Leos are supposed to be fiery and passionate, qualities often associated with the color red (ex. Tiger Woods' shirts on Sundays, the Chinese flag, blood).
In conclusion, help me out. I realize that BLOG IS THE NEW BLOG is no Picasso, no Van Gogh, no Georgia O'Keefe.
It is Boosh Clown.
-Boosh Clown
I am sorry if the new color scheme and format has caused you distress. I intend to remedy this situation as soon as possible, and would urge you, faithful reader, to aid me in settling on a color scheme that will be both dynamic and "jazzy," as well as easy to read and one that will not inflict ocular discomfort.
I like pink, but I'm not the kind of guy that wears pink polo shirts to show that he is "comfortable" with his sexuality. I am not sure that I am comfortable with my sexuality. I am often wont to hold hands with Andy Bunker, and sometimes find myself coveting Barry Sevig's smooth, baby-like skin.
I also like black and white for their contrast. I want my blog to be simple and easy to read, and feel that a black and white-based color scheme promotes this.
I also like red. At least I think I like red. When I was six I emphatically proclaimed that red was my favorite color. There is a chance that this still holds true. I am a Leo, and Leos are supposed to be fiery and passionate, qualities often associated with the color red (ex. Tiger Woods' shirts on Sundays, the Chinese flag, blood).
In conclusion, help me out. I realize that BLOG IS THE NEW BLOG is no Picasso, no Van Gogh, no Georgia O'Keefe.
It is Boosh Clown.
-Boosh Clown
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
The Homecoming Archbishop
Quote of the Day: "...Gay-ass Canada." - Bunktown
Like of the Day: You know how UW's campus has a shitload of squirrels? Well, the University of Victoria campus has a shitload of bunnies. Though they look cute enough, they can become quite a nuisance due to the fact that they breed like, well...bunnies. So apparently every year someone comes to the campus and rounds up a bunch of them and trucks them off to God-knows-where where they meet a fate that is probably not worthy of their poofy little tails and their cute little noses. VirtualTourist.com calls the situation, "...a major rabbit control problem," but I call it "Boosh Clown's Like of the Day."
Dislike of the Day: San Francisco
Song of the Day: One more from the Brooklyn-based duo MGMT (pronounced "management")., this time it's "Weekend Wars"
Picture of the Day: This is my friend Neil. He is Scottish and generally looks distinguished. Note the mustache. Location: Guatapé, Colombia
Like of the Day: You know how UW's campus has a shitload of squirrels? Well, the University of Victoria campus has a shitload of bunnies. Though they look cute enough, they can become quite a nuisance due to the fact that they breed like, well...bunnies. So apparently every year someone comes to the campus and rounds up a bunch of them and trucks them off to God-knows-where where they meet a fate that is probably not worthy of their poofy little tails and their cute little noses. VirtualTourist.com calls the situation, "...a major rabbit control problem," but I call it "Boosh Clown's Like of the Day."
Dislike of the Day: San Francisco
Song of the Day: One more from the Brooklyn-based duo MGMT (pronounced "management")., this time it's "Weekend Wars"
Picture of the Day: This is my friend Neil. He is Scottish and generally looks distinguished. Note the mustache. Location: Guatapé, Colombia
Monday, March 3, 2008
Motor Skills
I had a fair amount of misgivings about the "Transformers" movie when it first came out in July of last year. I found it hard to believe that a film based on human-like robots who disguised themselves by transforming into cars, planes, etc. could hold much, if any, dramatic merit. I also thought I might be a little old for a movie in which two of the main characters' names were "Optimus Prime," and "Megatron. Plus I never really played with the toys, though I probably should have: my older brother, who is very technologically astute, used to play with them all the time and later grew up to be a successful airplane pilot who flies around movie stars in a private Lear Jet, while I grew up to be a shuttle driver who drives around Audi/Volkswagen customers in a 2002 Eurovan. But anyway, I just saw the Transformers movie on an IMAX screen, and it was fucking awesome. And not even for the special effects, though those were top notch. The movie was actually pretty good. I found myself laughing out loud regularly, and the girls they chose for the two main female roles were the kind for whom you'd sell your first born son into slavery just to have a chance to kiss.
The movie, directed by Michael Bay (Pearl Harbor, Armageddon, The Rock, The Lionel Richie Collection [I'm not even fucking kidding,]) comes in at 2 hours and 20 minutes long and won 3 Oscars for achievements in sound and visual effects. It centers around two groups of robots, the "Autobots," and the "Deceptacons," who duke it out in a battle for the "All Spark," a powerful, hieroglyphic-covered cube that fell to the Earth after many years of being lost in the outer reaches of space. To find the "All Spark," they seek a teenage kid named Sam (Shia LaBeouf), whose grandfather's glasses hold a map in secret "Transformer code" that has the cube's location. Sam is aided by a moderately attractive (refer to end of first paragraph) girl named Mikaela (Megan Fox), who besides always wearing remarkably tiny jean shorts and possessing the unique ability to sweat ever-so-slightly all of the time, has a passion for fast cars and dangerous activity.
If you haven't seen the Transformers movie, I suggest doing so, and on the largest screen possible (it will be showing on the IMAX here in Victoria till late March--we have a hide-a-bed). It has everything a guy (and a surprising amount of girls) could want in a movie: well-timed one-liners, attractive women, and humans and robots alike kicking the piss out of each other with guns, missiles, and anti-aircraft weapons in a quest for world domination. It also has a cute little injured chihuahua with a cast on its front paw named "Mojo."
Which is nice.
Spring is on its way!
-Boosh Clown
Like of the Day: See above
Dislike of the Day: Unemployment
Song of the Day: "Time to Pretend" by MGMT
P.S. I am seriously going to post two blogs one of these days. I'm waiting to get back an interview I emailed someone...
The movie, directed by Michael Bay (Pearl Harbor, Armageddon, The Rock, The Lionel Richie Collection [I'm not even fucking kidding,]) comes in at 2 hours and 20 minutes long and won 3 Oscars for achievements in sound and visual effects. It centers around two groups of robots, the "Autobots," and the "Deceptacons," who duke it out in a battle for the "All Spark," a powerful, hieroglyphic-covered cube that fell to the Earth after many years of being lost in the outer reaches of space. To find the "All Spark," they seek a teenage kid named Sam (Shia LaBeouf), whose grandfather's glasses hold a map in secret "Transformer code" that has the cube's location. Sam is aided by a moderately attractive (refer to end of first paragraph) girl named Mikaela (Megan Fox), who besides always wearing remarkably tiny jean shorts and possessing the unique ability to sweat ever-so-slightly all of the time, has a passion for fast cars and dangerous activity.
If you haven't seen the Transformers movie, I suggest doing so, and on the largest screen possible (it will be showing on the IMAX here in Victoria till late March--we have a hide-a-bed). It has everything a guy (and a surprising amount of girls) could want in a movie: well-timed one-liners, attractive women, and humans and robots alike kicking the piss out of each other with guns, missiles, and anti-aircraft weapons in a quest for world domination. It also has a cute little injured chihuahua with a cast on its front paw named "Mojo."
Which is nice.
Spring is on its way!
-Boosh Clown
Like of the Day: See above
Dislike of the Day: Unemployment
Song of the Day: "Time to Pretend" by MGMT
P.S. I am seriously going to post two blogs one of these days. I'm waiting to get back an interview I emailed someone...
Sunday, March 2, 2008
To Marry an Equestrian
So I didn't put up a blog yesterday and for that I am sorry. I was too busy running amok in this "island paradise:" confused, lost in a sea of red and white flags, and nursing a strange desire to return to a land of reason and justice. I fled deeper and deeper into the woods, hoping that somehow a spattering of solitude amongst immense Douglas Firs and Noble Spruces would lead to a restoration of sanity. But there was none. The moral of the story is that I let you down, faithful reader. I vowed a few days ago to start posting blogs daily, and I have failed. It will not happen again.
Today I have posted two blogs.
Better late than never.
Appetite for (Self) Destruction
I am about as good at drinking in moderation as Britney Spears is at keeping her face out of the tabloids: horrible. Today I went to the liquor store. I perused up and down the aisles for about a half hour, carefully checking the various beers for their alcohol percentages, price per milliliter; seeing if any beer in particular jumped out at me. The plan was to drink in moderation: hang out with some friends, have a few beers, not get too crazy, be in bed by a decent hour. I searched up and down and tried to decipher all the tricky names: Grolsch, Corona, Pilsner, Kokanee, etc. I looked long and hard for something "mellow," something to "chill" with, nothing too high in alcohol, only to walk out of the store a time later with a dazed look on my face and gross quantities of a fiendish little 9% number that calls itself, "La Fin du Monde (The End of the World). Good one, Mark. You planned on drinking in moderation and ended up with a beer that touts itself as the harbinger of the alcoholic apocalypse. You know that saying, "Today is the first day of the rest of my life"? Well, as I am certainly wont to say right now: How about we push that back till "Tomorrow"?
Happy March,
Boosh Clown
Like of the Day: Meerkat Manor
Dislike of the Day: Polish Dog
Song of the Day: "21st Century Schizoid Man" by King Crimson
Today I have posted two blogs.
Better late than never.
Appetite for (Self) Destruction
I am about as good at drinking in moderation as Britney Spears is at keeping her face out of the tabloids: horrible. Today I went to the liquor store. I perused up and down the aisles for about a half hour, carefully checking the various beers for their alcohol percentages, price per milliliter; seeing if any beer in particular jumped out at me. The plan was to drink in moderation: hang out with some friends, have a few beers, not get too crazy, be in bed by a decent hour. I searched up and down and tried to decipher all the tricky names: Grolsch, Corona, Pilsner, Kokanee, etc. I looked long and hard for something "mellow," something to "chill" with, nothing too high in alcohol, only to walk out of the store a time later with a dazed look on my face and gross quantities of a fiendish little 9% number that calls itself, "La Fin du Monde (The End of the World). Good one, Mark. You planned on drinking in moderation and ended up with a beer that touts itself as the harbinger of the alcoholic apocalypse. You know that saying, "Today is the first day of the rest of my life"? Well, as I am certainly wont to say right now: How about we push that back till "Tomorrow"?
Happy March,
Boosh Clown
Like of the Day: Meerkat Manor
Dislike of the Day: Polish Dog
Song of the Day: "21st Century Schizoid Man" by King Crimson
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
