Jimm or Nothing

I am looking down at Guiveda and trying to figure out what to write. Although I sent Guiveda packing roughly a week ago, he still has some luggage here, in the form of fat rolls. Guiveda is a product of my achilles tendonitis, but he also represents a quality of my life: excess. The diet I am on has made me realize that I have a very "all or nothing" personality. It seems that I walk a fine line between total excess and total abstinence. Here is an example to illustrate both scenarios. Scenario 1) Total Excess: Waking up on a strange couch and peaking through the blinds to learn that I am somewhere on 25th AVE. I have no shoes, no keys, and absolutely no idea whose house I am in. I try to put the pieces together, find something that I recognize. The only decoration in the living room is a large, framed Papa John's poster. Down the stairs leading to the living room walks a young Asian kid who is evidently on his way to class. He looks at me giggles at my hopeless, confused state before continuing out the door. After searching in vain for my shoes, phone, and dignity, I leave the house. It is February, and I am barefoot. The cold, granulated cement of the sidewalk hurts my feet and I walk to the 74, which I board, still barefoot. To this day I have no idea whose houes it was. Scenario 2) Total Abstinence: aka the Hammers Program. If you have read this blog at all you know that I am currently on a diet that prohibits alcohol, caffeine, junk food (i.e. candy, Hostess cupcakes, melted-down Jolly Ranchers in a casserole bowl), and fast food. The diet is going well: I feel the healthiest I have in a long time. But what I am discovering is that I need to do what most humans already have, which is find a middle ground. I need balance. After all, maybe I don't have to choose between turning down a handful of skittles and saying yes to a shot of Bacardi 151 in Lake Chelan and then blacking out only to return to consciousness because Mike is screaming at me to battle the minor forest fire that is engulfing our campsite. Maybe I can find a middle ground, which is what I will try to do after this last week of the complete Hammers Program. Maybe, for the first time in my life, I can learn to indulge in moderation. Happy Valentines day.

-Boosh Clown

Song of the Day: My Funny Valentine from the Talented Mr. Ripley Soundtrack


p.s. Let's get hammered!