Zach is a Dick

Zach is a dick because the other night I didn't really want to drink and he opened the 40 of Pabst that was in my fridge. I was then faced with the life-altering decision of either drinking this 40 or letting it go to waste. I knew that our forefathers would roll in their graves if it went to waste, so I started off the night with a chug. Then we talked on Skype to a chick from Mexico for like 2 hours. Partytime. Now I am listening to portuguese music and dreading going to work to drive the stupid-ass fucking shuttle that might get driven off the University Bridge. Fucking bung-holes. Barry is also a dick because the other day he called me pretending to be a gay man from Madison Park named "Doug." I should have suspected something was up when he asked if it was ok "if his husband came." However I wasn't given much time to suspect anything because as soon as I said of course it was ok if the husband came there was a cackle of laughter on the other end courtesy of Barry and Mario. I looked at the number on the phone, realized it was Barry's, and sat jaw-dropped for about 5 seconds. I missed my exit for the 99 due to the traumatic stupor induced by this prank call. To make matters worse it was probably the busiest day I have ever had at work, and I got off a half hour late. To top it ALL off, I lost a pair of keys to an Audi about 5 minutes before we were supposed to close. I was then left to look all over the ground of the parking lot with a flashlight, in the rain. Fuck me. Anyway, that was that. And now I'm back off to shuttle. I realize this blog is not updated very often, and that I make a lot of empty promises about things that I'm going to write. If you have a problem with that feel free to post a comment. Or feel free to drive the shuttle off the University Bridge. I'll give you the keys.
"If you're going to jingle, don't half-ass it, Jingle all the way!" -Gary Gulman on Christmas songs

-Boosh Clown

Song of the Day: Combat Baby by Metric