Ohio is the New Blog

Written May 22, 2008

Here at Blog is the New Blog, we like to hit the links whenever we can. Today I went to Arrowhead Golf Club in Minster, Ohio, where I played 9 holes by myself. It's a good thing I was by myself, due to the fact that my level of play was somewhat embarrassing. I'd say about 5 of the holes were played semi-decently (read: semi-terribly) and about 4 of the holes were a complete and utter abomination.
That said, I had the time of my life. I had forgotten how fun it is to play golf by yourself. There's way less pressure and you don't have to wait for people to hit and find their golf balls and take practice swings and read greens; you just walk to your ball and hit, and repeat the process until the ball's in the hole.
Which, granted, for me, today, took a little bit of effort.
But, like I was saying, I enjoyed every second of it, and when I'm on my own roaming the open countryside I try to find ways to amuse myself. I mainly I just talk to myself, loudly, and often in a Southern accent. After every shot I would say something like, "Now, goddamnit Mark it's eighta seecks yards and here yew are takin' a full swang with a peetchin wedge. Wat the hell yew thankin'? Course it went the hell o'er the hole, watch you espect? You spect it to get sum English er sum that damn portugeeze on eet and just stop 'erself rat therr ?" Or I'd be walking down the fairway, "Well, I'll be hot damned its goddamned gorjiss out today. Whoo-wee. Little bitta cross breeze but that don't matter we got ourselves a round 'a golf today, folks."
And so on and so forth.
On the way home from golf I even got lucky and my favorite song by Alan Jackson was playin' on the radio. Way down yonder on the Chattahoochie, never knew how much that muddy water meant to me. Well I learned how to swim and I learned who I was, lot about livin' and a little 'bout love...
So here we are in Ohio, folks. The next week or so is going to be an interesting medley of taking walks, bike rides, hanging out with my siblings when they finally get here, and being bored out of my skull. Please send some love my way when you get the chance. I would love to hear from each and every one of you.
Y'all take care, na.