Wetzler Father/Son Canadian Super Tour 2008 Part 1

We have a penchant for dramatic titles here at Blog is the New Blog, but this one might be our first that is actually an understatement. Over the past week or so my father and I have motored our way up from New Bremen, Ohio, to the beautiful walled city of Quebec, Canada. We have met more than a few trials and tribulations along the way, all braved semi-fearlessly in our never ending Northeasterly trajectory.
Today, like I said, I come to you from Quebec City, but to start things off properly we have to go back to the site of our previous blog entry and slideshow mania: New Bremen, Ohio.
From New Bremen, Ohio, Harry and I got a ride to Sandusky, Ohio, located on the Southern shore of Lake Eerie, where we took an 11-minute plane ride to Pelee Island, Ontario. Pelee Island is famous for two things: It's the southernmost point in Canada (south of most of Northern California according to one poster), and its got a winery. I suggested we definitely take a winery tour or at the very least do some tasting and Harry acquiesced. We sampled several of their more popular selections and Harry, though not the most avid of drinkers, exclaimed after tasting their iced wine variety, "Goddamn, that's good shit." I was appalled.
The hour and a half journey from Pelee Island to Leamington, Ontario, one of the most southern cities on the mainland and considered "The Tomato Capital of Canada," was made aboard the MV Jimaan, a strong, seaworthy vessel whose name means "Canoe" in the local native tongue (I assure you she was more than a canoe).
Leamington, was, well, one of the worst places in the world. I know that sounds a little harsh, but as a respected travel writer I am not paid to be anything less than frank¹. Our hotel was right across the street from a Wal-Mart. This onslaught of commercialism was endearing at first after having spent so many days amidst endless fields of wheat and soy, but soon inflicted in me a mild, unsettling feeling I can only describe as "wretched nausea." My visit to the Dollarama, literally located next door, did nothing to improve the state of affairs.
I will say this about Leamington: the waterfront area is somewhat beautiful, and I was amazed and excited to find people actually surfing on Lake Eerie. There were swells! Swells in a lake! I don't know if I saw either of the surfers we saw on the water get what one might call, "a legitimate ride," but it was awesome to see them out there just the same.
To get to Toronto from Leamington, we took about a 5-hour Greyhound bus ride. While waiting for the bus, a woman and what appeared to be her mate rolled up beside us in a black Chevy Silverado, rolled down the window, and asked, "Do you know where the Wal-Mart is?" I blinked a few times and then thought to myself, "Wow. Yes, I know exactly where the Wal-Mart is." The couple pulled away in their truck with sound directions and I experienced what it would be like to be a Leamington local, at which point I was gripped by another wave of nausea and my left calf muscle cramped slightly.
The greyhound ride was amazing. I love buses. Ever since my trip through Central and South America they have held a special place in my heart. This bus ride was no different. Leamington gave way to more corn fields, but then the scenery got a little more interesting near London, Ontario. The woman sitting next to me for part of the ride was quite the chatty cathy so I learned more than I ever thought I would about Southwestern Ontario, for example, that all the Crown Victoria police cars are manufactured in plant just outside of London. After a while of talking to the woman I put on my headphones to listen to some music I had just recently put on my MP3 player, not to be rude, but just because I thought conversation time with the woman had drawn to an end.
Apparently I was wrong.
The addition of my headphones to the scenario appeared to cause her much vexation. She would periodically lean in to me like she was going to say something and then, realizing I had my headphones on, withdraw in frustration. Finally it got to be to much for her and she leaned in and said in a loud voice, "See that over there? That's a new landfill. That's where they dump all of Toronto's garbage now. They just truck it out here. I don't like it one bit."
"That must be a lot of garbage," I said, and she nodded, satisfied with my answer.
We only spent one night in Toronto, but it is a cool city. One of the highlights was actually our hotel, which featured an indoor swimming pool, workout room, and sauna, all three of which I used on at least one occasion. In the workout room I decided to relive my days as an elliptical trainer aficionado, definitely scaring some of the other exercisers with my rapid RPM's and fierce, periodic grunting. They were obviously not used to such levels of intensity.
In Toronto Harry and I rented a car, which is where our BITNB Wetzler Father/Son Canadian Super Tour 2008 Part 1 entry will end today. Next it's Bloomfield, Ottawa, and Quebec!

A plus!

-Boosh Clown


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