Hammers Program

Today at 8:50pm Pacific Standard time I will embark on a rigorous health plan aimed at reducing the size of my stomach which has officially moved me from the category of "possesses minor beer belly," to, "completely and utterly obese." The desired duration of the plan aka "Hammers Program" will be 1 week (ending Sunday February 11 at 8:50pm). A slight allowance for Sparks may have to be made if I go to Bellingham this weekend to hang out with the snowboard club and watch Barry participate in the Banked Slalom. This allowance will be no more than a 6 pack of Sparks for the entire weekend and is absolutely necessary if I am to survive the harsh climate and exasperating plentitude of underage snow bunnies. Other than that the Hammers Program will prohibit the following foods: Caffeine, Alcohol (Busch Light included), Candy, and Fast Food (excludes Pagliacci (I'm only human)). For mental health purposes I will adhere to the following rules: Maximum one(1) daily visit to facebook, no using the MacBook unless I am actively downloading songs or talking to someone on messenger, and no fat chicks. This program will undoubtedly prove to be a painstaking test of my almost non-existent willpower. But crawl before you walk. Starting.......now!