On August 17th I will embark on a voyage that will take me from Seattle, WA to Buenos Aires, Argentina over land. This means that I will not skip any stretch of land via ferry or plane or pterodactyl. However, river boats are ok, mostly because I think they will be absolutely necessary in the 50-mile or so stretch of narco-trafficker, paramilitary infested wilderness that exists between Columbia and Panama. This area, known as the Darien Gap, is the one leg of the trip I am somewhat apprehensive about. In the year 2000 two British botanists were kidnapped in the gap by Columbian guerrillas and held hostage for 9-months before being released. The book The Cloud Garden chronicles their story and is possibly the worst thing that has ever been published. The first three or so chapters talk about nothing more than how excited these two blokes were to see the “dizzying array of orchids” that the gap had to offer. In the story, getting kidnapped at gunpoint seems somewhat secondary. Worse yet, everything in the book is told from the perspective of BOTH of the unlucky Brits (completely unnecessary considering they were within 10 feet of each other for the majority of the ordeal), the end result being the reader getting the impression that the two guys were completely insane/brain-dead (at one point I strongly suspected that these two spent a large portion of their time in captivity fantasizing about, and possibly masturbating to, the plentitude of flora that lay just beyond the grasp of their chubby English fingers).
That said, I will be writing a book about my trip. My goal is to write something that somewhat resembles this blog, but with stronger themes and more exotic description of far-away lands. What will probably end up happening is that I drink too much, black-out on tequila, and pee my pants. Either way, it should prove to be a fairly epic trip. I am particularly excited about Columbia and Argentina. On a side note, my shuttle-driving days are officially numbered. I quit next Wednesday. Shit doo.
-Boosh Clown
Hate of the Day: Bob Levy
Like of the Day: Aaron Lennon
Song of the Day: Solta o Frango by Bonde do Role
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