Be Cool

I found myself ranting a few days ago here in a bar in Ecuador. I was accompanied by two Scots, and we were drinking 22 oz. bottles of Pilsener while the bar played “Don’t Cry” by Guns ‘n Roses. The basic gist of the rant was this: I fear I am beginning to hate travel, due to the fact that discussing travel has become akin to discussing Politics and Religion.
Politics and Religion are something I have never wanted to talk about in my life, as I think they are both patently ridiculous. It seems, superficially, an open and shut case: Everyone loves God (or at least some form of Him), and everyone hates George W. Bush. But this is where I get angry and flare my nostrils and feel the urge to punch the 20 year-old Business major that is scoffing at George Bush’s apparent mismanagement of some or another policy, more often than not involving the words “Kyoto Protocol.” I don’t want to discuss it with this asshole, because I doubt his sincerity. More than likely he recently read a newspaper article on said subject, and now feels he is an authority. But if I ask him to stop, and I ask him the simple question “Why do you dislike George Bush?” his answer will almost invariably be this: “Because he’s an idiot.” Everyone seems to agree with this fact, but for awhile now I have been quite afraid that most people don’t really know why. Sure, to be fair, there are plenty people who are well informed about George Bush’s policies and the world of politics in general and thus are completely justified in their opinions, but I also suspect that a very large portion of people hate George Bush just to be cool.
In this day in age, it’s certainly cool to hate a lot of things, not at all limited to George Bush. It’s cool to hate Starbucks. It’s cool to hate McDonalds; it’s basically cool to hate all corporations. But it’s also cool to love certain things: Fair trade coffee, the Boston Red Sox, the Red Hot Chili Peppers. But this is where you need to be suspicious. Just because it’s “cool” to love these things doesn’t imply they possess intrinsic “coolness,” and this is why: The people that think the aformentioned things are “cool” are a very specific breed. They are the kind of people that claim to love every kind of music “except country.” They are the kind of people that think John Mayer is decent, and the kind of people that think U2 “rock.” They are also the kind of people that have sold their souls to Satan.
With this in mind, it’s still ok to like certain things that basically everyone thinks are “cool,” for example: Led Zeppelin, medium-rare steaks, Michael Jordan, Jessica Biel’s chest. These are things that have leapt from the gambit of just “perceived as cool,” to the higher strata of “actually cool” (and in the case of Jessica Biel’s chest, “actually fucking amazing”). So I guess the lesson is this: like things, and even love things because they are “cool.” Embrace them openly, and throw yourself into the deep blue sea of admiration, but always remember why you are doing it. Ask yourself, “Why is this cool?” Because if you don’t, you might just find yourself alone in your room, casually drinking Budweiser Select and listening to Limp Bizkits “Chocolate Starfish and the Hotdog Flavored Water.” And that’s not cool.