Walk the Line

The above quote is probably one of the radder quotes I have ever read. It was also the first thing that came up when I searched, "inspirational quotes" on Google. Why is it rad (see: hilarious)? Because it's not really all that inspirational at all. I've been sitting here for the past few minutes trying to figure out how it could apply to my life, and I've come to the following conclusion:

A) It doesn't apply to my life at all.
B) It applies to every aspect of my life.

The genius of this quote is that it provides semi-specific imagery while also being completely vague. I don't own a ship, and have been on very few ships in my life, but I still feel like I have a basic understanding of the nautical world. From what I gather, this quote states that: A) Harbors are safe, and B) Ships weren't built for harbors. This is easy enough to grasp, so I decided to delve a little deeper. After applying the Pythagorean theorem to the quote and multiplying it by Murphy's law, I came to the conclusion that C) Ships were built to be outside of harbors, and D) Outside of harbors is not safe. I also drew the conclusions that E) John Shedd wore an eye patch, and F)Probably ingested large quantities of rum.

I was looking for inspirational quotes because I am currently walking a very thin line and needed a quick pick-me-up. As many of you know, I am currently training for a long-distance bike trip. As I have also stated on several occasions, my right achilles tendon is a piece of poop. Now, I knew this going into the training process; I knew it all too well. However, for some logic-defying reason, I assumed my achilles tendon--which has had very little excercise in the past few months save walking to the video store or the local coffee shop--would be completely up to the task. I assumed that bike riding would be low-impact enough to where I could beat the shit out of it and still recover quite easily. I assumed that my body would take on the regenerative powers of a juvenile wolverine. I assumed that it would be easy.

I was wrong.

So now I am walking a very thin line. If I bike too far on any given day, I risk straining my achilles tendon beyond repair and having to bag the bike trip entirely. If I don't ride far enough, I will surely have my ass and achilles obliterated on the first few days of the trip and have to bag the bike trip entirely, albeit at a later date. This is the dilemma I am facing right now, and this is the reason I was just looking for inspirational quotes on Google. Luckily I didn't have to look very far, for I instantly stumbled upon John Shedd's very inspirational quote involving ships and harbors, which I can easily apply to my own situation: Achilles tendons in bodies are safe, but that's not what achilles tendons are built for.

Or something like that.

-Boosh Clown

Song of the Day: Staring at the Sun by TV on the Radio

P.S. Note how Shedd spells "harbour" with a "u." Filthy Torry.