The Quarter-Life Crisis

The quarter-life crisis is a phenomenon similar to the mid-life crisis, except that it occurs a quarter of the way through one’s life, generally affecting those between the ages of 20 and 25. The most common time for a quarter-life crisis to occur is just after college and before landing a secure job. Though cases have shown that it can also happen as early as after high school, instances of this are much more infrequent due to the fact that most people spend the first summer and few years after college “chasing tail” and turning their brains into mushy pulp.
Today we will examine several ways to combat the quarter-life crisis. These are paths that you can follow if you are in the midst of a quarter-life crisis that will not only be productive, life-enriching experiences, but help you to get out of the crevasse that is the quarter-life crisis in order to better glimpse the vast world that lays beyond.

Scenario #1: Move to Tibet

Pros: If average altitudes of 13,000 feet and walking on the same soil as His Holiness the Dalai Lama isn't enough to clear your head, I don’t know what is. Tibet offers myriad activities for the quarter-life crisis sufferer to take his/her mind off the current shittiness of just being like, “hella confused about whether or not to just get a job in some cubicle or do something crazy like hike into the mountains and live off the land. You know, like ‘Into the Wild’ type shit or something.” For instance, in Tibet, given the proper constitution and panache for daring, you could conceivably climb Mt. Everest, hunt wild Musk deer, and mine borax -- all in the same day!

Cons: Those pesky Chinese.

Scenario #2: Work for Greenpeace.

Pros: If selling your soul to Satan and possibly having to spend entire days accosting people on the street with, “Hey man, how’s it going? I’m Steven, can I talk to you for sec?” don’t sound like horrible things to do, this could be the path for you. Greenpeace, on their home website, claims to be trying to “save the planet,” a cause noble enough to jolt any quarter-life-crisis-sufferer out of his/her watching-tv-with-computer-on-lap stupor. Save the whales, and more importantly, save yourself. What could be better?

Cons: Hippies, a tendency to travel in zodiac.

Scenario #3: Graduate School

Pros: College was awesome right? So then why don’t you—like—just keep doing it? College campuses are beautiful, college girls are beautiful, and learning is pretty fun. So why don’t you just go back? At the very minimum, it’ll give you another two years until your next crisis.

Cons: Corduroy pants.

Scenario #4: Get a “Real” Job.

Pros: Take the plunge. No more messing around. Bring home the bacon. What you need to do is quit bitching about these “problems” that aren’t really problems and start making some money. Doesn’t really matter what it is, as long as it’s lucrative and as long as the job title sounds official enough to shut people up when they ask what you’ve been doing lately. Look for job titles that contain words like, “analyst, administrator, director,” or “consultant.” Trust me, you’ll be happy when you see that first paycheck.

Cons: Same as pros.

That's all the strategy that can be provided for today. More to come later. Good luck!