Dan-D-Pak

I am sitting in a grocery store right now in Vancouver called "Dan-D-Pak." Apart from having an awesome name, a great selection of produce, and being located right next to one of the best pizza places in Vancouver, Dan-D-Pak has computers you can use for free!!!! I think you're technically supposed to be a customer and I just caught the cashier staring at me, but that is probably just because I haven't shaved in a few weeks and am wearing a t-shirt that contains the phrase, "heroin problem."
Anyway, I got to Vancouver via my bicycle. That's right, the quarter-life crisis is continuing in grand fashion! The only logical step for me to take was to load up my bike and ride North, spending the night in the field of a Methodist church in Arlighton, and then riding over a hundred miles yesterday, much to the consternation of my soft, out-of-shape, beer-bellied phsyique. But I made it! I cheated a bit at the end by riding the Skytrain in from Surrey, but fuck it, I wanted to kill myself after riding on the Fraser Highway for many miles and the cool, air-conditioned interior of BC's mass transit was the most amazing thing I have ever experienced. The Skytrain, if you've never ridden on it, is like the Monorail, except that it is actually functional¹.
Well that's all for today! Keep your ears to the grindstone.
Adios from Dan-D-Pak,

Boosh Clown

¹It has come to my attention that everytime I mention something that I like about Canada, whether or not it come at the expense of something American, people hate hella hard and accuse me of being a traitor and tell me that instead of hanging out with them I should just move to Canada. So, I would like to state for the record, that I love 'Merica. I really do. And I love you guys.

Please love me back.

P.S. Loonie!