Hate is a Strong Word

"I did it all for the nookie (come on), the nookie (come on)

so you can take that cookie, and stick it up your (yeah)
stick it up your (yeah), stick it up your (yeah)
stick it up your..."
-Limp Bizkit, circa 1999

One of the things I most like about music is hating it; after all, the only thing that's about as satisfying as a really awesome band is a really terrible one. Therefore, when the subject of "hated bands" comes up, I have a few "go-to's" that I always mention. These are bands that many people like, thus making me feel like I have to be more vocal about the fact that I hate them. For instance, I always mention the band 3 Doors Down and their 2000 release "Kryptonite" that almost caused me to have a nervous breakdown. I usually bring up the band Creed, citing lead singer Scott Stapp as a percoset-addicted egomaniac who, between stints in rehab, ruined the lives of everyone he came in contact with. Lastly, I bring up Linkin Park; I always bring up Linkin Park. This is because a ton of people like Linkin Park, whereas I think they are one of the worst bands in history. When "Hybrid Theory" came out in 2000 my ears bled for a week straight.

But there is one band I almost never mention, mostly because I assume that everyone else already hates them; One band I have pushed so far into the annals of loathing that I rarely even pause to acknowledge their existence, except sometimes to shudder discreetly or cross myself in public.

That band is Limp Bizkit.

I have hated Limp Bizkit for a long time--a really long time--but I don't know if I've ever stopped to reflect on exactly why. The purpose of today's blog is to figure out that reason. After all, I can't just say that their music is "bad," or that Fred Durst is the spawn of lucifer--I must figure out the deeper reason. What will happen if I can't? I will punish myself in a way inspired by the title of the band's third album: I will drink a glass of hot dog flavored water.

We'll start by examining Fred Durst, Limp Bizkit's controversy-marred front man. Durst was born William Frederick Durst in Gastonia, North Carolina, where he spent the first two years of his life living in the top of a church with his mother where they subsisted solely on baby food (Wikipedia aka probably false). After a brief stint in the Navy, Durst moved to Jacksonville, Florida, where he became a tattoo artist and, spurred on by his love for rapping and break dancing, eventually formed the band Limp Bizkit.
In 1995 Limp Bizkit burst onto the TRL scene when they covered George Michael's 1980's hit, "Faith." Now, truth be told, I liked this song when it came out. I liked a few Limp Bizkit songs when they came out. To be fair, though, "Faith" came out in 1997, when I was a 14 years-old. When I was 14 years-old, I couldn't tell my ass from my elbows, so we're going to let this one slide.
Anyway, Limp Bizkit became a veritable steamroller of raucous hits in the late 90's after the release of their hilariously titled album, "Three Dollar Bill, Y'all." In 1999 they released their second album, "Significant Other," which contained such hits as "Nookie," "Break Stuff," and "N 2 Gether Now." Once again I must mention here that I also sort of liked "Nookie" when it came out, and definitely liked "N 2 Gether Now," due to the fact that Method Man is a gangster. Therefore, we will excuse the fact that I liked "N 2 Gether Now," as my vision was somewhat clouded by Method Man's soothing, grainy voice. As for liking "Nookie," I still consider that inexcusable, despite the fact that I was only 16 when it came out, it was extremely catchy, and everyone I knew in the world loved it. I still should have known better. As punishment, I will begin to boil the hot dogs that may or may not serve as the main ingredient in the hot dog flavored water punishment scenario mentioned earlier.

In 2000 Limp Bizkit released their third and arguably last notable album, "Chocolate Starfish and the Hot Dog Flavored Water," known for its hits, "My Generation," and "Rollin'." If you haven't already noticed, 2000 was a superbly awful yet groundbreaking year for music. Limp Bizkit was center stage with "Nu Metal," and Linkin Park released their massive hit, "Hybrid Theory," the first album that promoted "rap metal fusion," arguably the worst music genre ever conceived. In 2000 I was a sophomore at Bainbridge High School. I had recently gotten my driver's license, and my days consisted of driving a '91 Honda Civic, wakeboarding, jumping on the trampoline, eating otter pops, and fantasizing about girls. This was a critical time for me music-wise because there were basically two paths I could follow: I could fully embrace bands like Limp Bizkit and Linkin Park, thus giving myself over to a life of servitude to the devil, or I could basically reject modern music altogether.
Because of my brother, I was very in to classic rock at the time. While I did listen to some new bands, the dial on my radio was primarily tuned to stations that championed groups like Led Zeppelin, Creedence, and Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young. In this case, the winds of fortune were upon me. Thanks to my brothers influence, I ended up rejecting bands like Limp Bizkit, Linkin Park, Creed, and 3 Doors Down, and continued to focus on classic rock until I entered college at Arizona State University in 2002. By then, Fred Durst and Limp Bizkit hardly registered on my radar; I knew that I didn't like them, and if asked probably would've described Durst as "loathsome," but I was too busy occupying myself with the things college freshmen do to take too much notice of their existence.

After the release of "Chocolate Starfish and the Hot Dog Flavored Water" in 2000, Fred Durst and Limp Bizkit struck a course that would eventually lead them towards the relatively obscure position in the music world that they hold today. Durst became marred by controversy after making fun of just about every other band that enjoyed relative popularity at the time, even sparking one member of the band Offspring to wear anti-Fred Durst shirts. He was also involved in a brief scandal after claiming to have slept with Britney Spears while helping out on her 2003 release, "In the Zone," allegedly describing her body parts and their encounter in detail when he appeared on the Howard Stern Show. The only bright spot in this sea of controversy for Limp Bizkit would be prove to be their 2003 release, "Behind Blue Eyes," in which they covered the popular song of the same name by The Who.

As I look back on it, the release of "Behind Blue Eyes" was what really cemented my hate for Limp Bizkit and Fred Durst. When I first heard it I was in the company of some of my younger skateboarder friends, and I remember being horrified by the prospect that these kids could grow up thinking that the song they had just listened to was a Fred Durst original. Indeed, that is exactly what happened with most of America's youth. Durst covered The Who, and kids thought it was great. Never mind the fact that "Behind Blue Eyes" could be sung by a basset hound or Will Ferrel and still sound amazing, kids thought that this was Limp Bizkit material. They had never heard of The Who, and they didn't care. All they knew was that "Behind Blue Eyes" was more melodic, catchier, and deeper than anything that Fred Durst had ever done.

And I was livid.

With "Behind Blue Eyes," the Britney scandal, and Fred Durst continuing to make an an ass out of himself to the general public, my hate for Limp Bizkit was raging full force. However, since at that time they were relatively unpopular save "Behind Blue Eyes", I wasn't exposed to them much and my anger started to fizzle, aided by the fact that it was redirected towards other bands I despised at the time like Maroon 5, Jason Mraz and John Mayer. In fact, Durst and Limp Bizkit continued to remain out of sight and out of mind up until the writing of this blog, save the occasional MTV or E! reference to Durst for stupid things he has done, like when he purposely hit two people with his car in 2007.

Limp Bizkit started their career with a cover, and ended it with a cover. Their most famous song's lyrics are centered around the word "nookie." Their front man, Fred Durst, has been involved in countless scandals after needlessly bashing other bands. He went on Howard Stern and told people about alleged sexual relations between him and Britney Spears. And finally, in 2007, he purposely hit two people with his car. All of this is terrible--some might say abominable--behavior in a human being, but almost understandable and excusable coming from a rock personality like Durst. Covering "Behind Blue Eyes," however, is not. Limp Bizkit never should have done that. Fred Durst never should have done that. He never should have stared into the camera for his music video and blasphemized the beautiful lyrics of a classic song. It was inexcusable, and unforgivable. He briefly stole the hearts and minds of America's youth and held them in his scaly grip for a full 4 min 32 seconds before finally giving them back.

"No one knows what it's like/to be hated," sang Fred Durst.

That might be true, Fred. But, hey, thanks to Limp Bizkit, at least plenty of people know what it's like to hate.